Suzie Pileggi Pawelski: Strengthening Relationships During Covid-19
Suzie Pileggi Pawelski began contributing to the field of positive psychology while she was still a MAPP student in 2007. That year, she was invited to write a daily interview column for the newly launched IPPA (International Positive Psychology Association), and she continued to write this column for over a decade. Today, she’s become a sought-out expert on positive relationships, which she believes are fundamental to thriving during COVID-19.
I met Suzie during our 2007-2008 MAPP year at Penn. Suzie and I were cohort members and usually sat together in the front row (so we could both see and hear better). It was a rich, amazing year for us academically, and for Suzie, it was when she first met her husband, co-author of Happy Together: Using Positive Psychology to Build Love That Lasts, and Romance and Research ™ partner, distinguished professor, Dr. James Pawelski.
In the summer after MAPP, Suzie, and I attended the European Conference on Positive Psychology in majestic Opatija, Croatia, the country of her grandmother’s birthplace, where Suzie had spent an idyllic summer as a child. The conference was inspiring, and Suzie and I took notes for the IPPA Board Meeting while James, Chris Peterson, Ray Fowler, and other luminaries set their vision for the future.
Sometime afterward, Suzie and James fell in love. They married in 2010 at the Cathedral Basilica of Saints Peter and Paul, Philadelphia. Suzie and James are thriving, separately, and in their union. Suzie is an active, dedicated mom, soccer coach, and manager for their son Liam’s team that recently won a tournament. She is also a science of well-being writer and blogger in publications such as Psychology Today, a Contributing Editor for Live Happy magazine, and an international presenter. James is doing outstanding work, and currently heading up a large-scale research project at Penn (with researchers from around the world) investigating how engaging in the arts & humanities affects our well-being.
In the forward to their book, Happy Together, Martin Seligman reminds us that Suzie is fond of saying, “Love is an action verb.” And in the book, we see how close Suzie is with her family when she describes her son, Liam, as “my proudest accomplishment.”
SUZIE’S ADVICE FOR THRIVING DURING COVID-19
Suzie and I talked about relationships in the time of COVID-19. Suzie said, “we may be shut in, but we do not need to be shut down.” In positive psychology research, she said it’s not surprising that relationships are in the center of Martin Seligman’s PERMA Theory of Flourishing: Positive Emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning and Achievement. Suzie believes, “relationships are perhaps THE most important part of well-being.”
Positive relationships and loving connections matter. In outcomes from the well-known longitudinal Harvard Grant Study, originally led by Dr. George Vaillant, MD, Suzie reminds us that George found that loving connections protect us from difficulties later on. Additionally, Suzie, an expert at making academic research accessible and even fun, discusses how we need a couple of “3:00 am friends.” Those are people you can count on, friends you can call anytime.
Suzie spoke about the following relationship strategies in the time of COVID-19:
1. Remember Chris Peterson’s mantra, “Other people matter.” Suzie cares, and has donated time giving positive psychology talks about strengths at Liam’s school, helping students learn about thriving.
2. Manage stress. Suzie practices self-care, exercises at least five days weekly, and is a model of healthy nutrition and positive lifestyle. Suzie savors time in nature and at play.
3. Be the change. Suzie is a strengths-focused and deep thinker, filled with gratitude; she is dedicated to helping people.
HOW SUZIE AND JAMES ARE HELPING PEOPLE THRIVE IN A DIFFICULT TIME
At a time when many of us are feeling overwhelmed with all the changes and uncertainty in the world, check out these exciting projects:
1. Suzie and James are collaborating with iconic talk show host Larry King and incredible MAPP team at PositiveVoices.com, an online platform where leaders in Positive Psychology share the latest research and practical tips to help people live their best lives. Suzie is helping Positive Voices create a variety of inspirational talk shows, including interviews with experts in the areas of human flourishing, as well as celebrities and business leaders who are making a positive difference in the world, hosted by Larry and James. This brings back fond memories for Suzie from decades ago when she was a producer on the Joan Rivers Show.
James, Larry, Suzie and the team, are dedicated to this meaningful project, called “Coping with COVID,” and are interviewing top experts in the science of well-being with a goal of providing people with a much-needed boost of positivity. This series offers evidence-based advice and activities to help people thrive. It is dropping on the PositiveVoices.com Facebook page, and website here.
Positive Voices recently launched the Psychology of Flourishing (POF) program to a general audience. The program, delivered via video, showcases scientific research and evidence-based practices to help people increase happiness, find meaning and live a more fulfilling life. Featuring positive psychology leaders including James, Marty Seligman, Angela Duckworth, Barbara Fredrickson and Gabrielle Oettingen, Suzie makes a cameo appearance, discussing their work on relationships. For information, check here. (There is a 100+ page Positive Voices workbook filled with practices and reflections to reinforce learning across all fifteen video modules).
2. Suzie and James will be moderating a panel on Relationships for the Mind Your Health Summit for the 92nd St Y on June 28th and are giving an all-day workshop on relationships on November 8th. You can purchase tickets here.
3. Suzie is producing an interactive online event for the the 92nd St Y series, “The Art of Positive Conversation” featuring Larry King, James, and actor Kevin Bacon (hailing from Philly). They will be talking about the need for positive media, arts, and culture to bring us together during difficult times. They will highlight Kevin’s incredible charity SixDegrees.org that helps connect people with important causes. The event will take place on June 11th via a live zoom call from 7PM EST - 8PM EST. There will be about 15-20 minutes for participants to ask questions. You can learn more and purchase tickets here.
These events align with the well-being research around the positive effects of engaging in the arts and humanities James is conducting. Both believe it’s incredibly important to disseminate this information now, at a time when the world needs it most. They are both doing their best to use their strengths and skills to help build a better world! Learn more at: www.buildhappytogether.com.
The work Suzie and James put forth is steeped in theory, research, and practice, offering fun, thoughtful activities. They help us to build positive relationships, and more love. Suzie and James are positive role models, inspiring us toward healthy habits via the science of relationships, romance, and positive psychology. They share how healthy relationship habits can help build love that lasts a lifetime.
